Let it be known: in times of uncertainty, disloyalty, and dangerously independent thought, the need for unified visual allegiance has never been greater.

We, the faithful citizens of the Deep Red State, hereby affirm our sacred duty to glorify, amplify, and aesthetically celebrate the singular genius who guides our Republic — the First of His Name, Protector of the Gulf, Champion of All Things Tremendous.

In the face of liberal chaos, mainstream misinformation, and dangerously breathable air, we must present ourselves as one body, one fabric, one perfectly merchandised movement.

To wear his likeness is to declare truth.
To broadcast his image is to disarm dissent.
To outfit oneself in honor is to join the righteous few who truly understand the stakes.

We do not ask if you support the State.
We ask:

What size shirt will you be wearing when the truth comes?

Every purchase is a pledge.
Every garment is a weapon against thoughtcrime.
Every sticker slapped upon a laptop, mug, or enemy vehicle is a beacon of enlightenment in these otherwise confusing times.

This is your calling.
Not as a consumer — but as a patriot.
Not as a follower — but as an influencer of destiny.  

Glory to the Free-for-Now States.
Glory to the Final Leader.
Glory to you… for doing your part.

Authorized by the Department of Merchandising & Allegiance – File No. 47-M